|Subject: Big Dog?
Date: Mon, 27 Oct 1997 13:16:34 -0600
From: "Marty Roach" <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Your stock '85 Maytag frankly blows seawater. A stock Maytag is for girls. Do you wear an apron and lipstick?
My Big Bore '88 Maytag has a bigger AC motor, smaller drive pulleys, and a custom 34 degree hi-gain agitator machined out of titanium. I run half a cup of Tide and some Borax pre-wash and she really kicks ass. My washer is so bad that my clothes are afraid to get dirty.
Don't even ask me about my dryer mods. She runs so hot that she glows in the dark. Satan himself, yes Beelzebub, rents it out on weekends.
Both my washer and dryer have 15 coats of hand-rubbed seafoam green laquer on them. Stock Maytag enamel? I'll send you TWO paper bags to wear over your head.
Bigger IS better, and don't you forget it. I don't like to discipline people in public but them's the facts.
Get back on the porch, junior, here comes Big Dog.
Rusty Galore, NJ
P.S. Herr Gau: Don't even ask for a picture or the VIN#.
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